Friday, July 27, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Mommy Stop Craft Corner: Easy Peasy Step Stool Decoration
So Monday's post referenced current events and today's post is about...crafts? What can I say, we're multifaceted over here at The Mommy Stop!
I wanted to share this craft with all of you because it is so unbelievably super simple, that I'm in love with it, and kind of want to do it for all of my friends and to every piece of furniture I have in my home (Don't worry Hubs, I'm not actually going to do that....most likely). Before I get into it all, I first have to give credit to my Mother-In-Law for this project! This was all her idea, and while I was the one who did the actual crafting, it was her creative brain that thought up the super simple way to get it done!
It all started several months ago when we were first introducing Mr. L to the potty and all things that go along with that fabulous activity; sitting on the potty, using toilet paper and lastly, washing hands! Mr. L loves washing his hands, but given that he's just under 3 feet tall he could never reach the sink on his own accord. My Mother In Law really wanted to get him a step stool for his birthday, but was understandably reluctant about spending a lot of money on a customized one from Etsy, and even more reluctant about buying a low-quality personalized one from a major child toy store chain. She finally landed somewhere in the middle and picked out a plain, high quality stool from KidCraft (No, this is not a sponsored post, I just really like the quality of their products and feel like giving them a shout out!), but it was plain wood and she really wanted it to have Mr. L's name on it. I told her that between the two of us we could easily add his name a stool; either by using stencils and paint or scrapbook stickers. I figured it would take a little bit of creativity and some effort but we could make it look almost as cute as the adorable (and expensive) ones on Etsy. But what she came up with was even easier than anything I could have thought of and looks so much better than if we had tried to stencil it all on ourselves! What was the secret?
WALL DECALS!
Yup! My Mother-In-Law picked up a pack of Sesame Street wall decals from Target and wrapped them up with the stool. The Hubs spent about 15 minutes constructing the stool and then I took over and added the decor! The decals work amazingly well! Not only are they adorable, but they are mistake free! If I didn't like the placement of any certain piece, I just peeled it off and stuck it somewhere else! I trimmed the bottom of some of the stickers so they fit perfectly around edges and it looks so perfect! The best part is that when Mr. L outgrows Sesame Street but still wants to use his stool, we can pick up a different set of decals, tear of Elmo and add the new ones!
Mr. L was so excited to be able to step right on Elmo's face every day when he washes his hands or brushes his teeth, so this present was a definite hit!
If you have a wall, a dresser, shoot even a frame that you want to spruce up a little but are nervous about putting your own artistic abilities into it, just pick up some decals and have a ball!
I wanted to share this craft with all of you because it is so unbelievably super simple, that I'm in love with it, and kind of want to do it for all of my friends and to every piece of furniture I have in my home (Don't worry Hubs, I'm not actually going to do that....most likely). Before I get into it all, I first have to give credit to my Mother-In-Law for this project! This was all her idea, and while I was the one who did the actual crafting, it was her creative brain that thought up the super simple way to get it done!
It all started several months ago when we were first introducing Mr. L to the potty and all things that go along with that fabulous activity; sitting on the potty, using toilet paper and lastly, washing hands! Mr. L loves washing his hands, but given that he's just under 3 feet tall he could never reach the sink on his own accord. My Mother In Law really wanted to get him a step stool for his birthday, but was understandably reluctant about spending a lot of money on a customized one from Etsy, and even more reluctant about buying a low-quality personalized one from a major child toy store chain. She finally landed somewhere in the middle and picked out a plain, high quality stool from KidCraft (No, this is not a sponsored post, I just really like the quality of their products and feel like giving them a shout out!), but it was plain wood and she really wanted it to have Mr. L's name on it. I told her that between the two of us we could easily add his name a stool; either by using stencils and paint or scrapbook stickers. I figured it would take a little bit of creativity and some effort but we could make it look almost as cute as the adorable (and expensive) ones on Etsy. But what she came up with was even easier than anything I could have thought of and looks so much better than if we had tried to stencil it all on ourselves! What was the secret?
WALL DECALS!
 |
| Click on the image for a closer look |
Mr. L was so excited to be able to step right on Elmo's face every day when he washes his hands or brushes his teeth, so this present was a definite hit!
If you have a wall, a dresser, shoot even a frame that you want to spruce up a little but are nervous about putting your own artistic abilities into it, just pick up some decals and have a ball!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Yahoo's New CEO and The Idea of Working Through Maternity Leave
The Mommy Stop isn't a political blog; it's a Mommy Blog. There really isn't any mistaking that. But sometimes, things happen in the news that relate to my life as a Mommy and I feel that this is the best outlet to vent my opinion or frustrations. One of those such things happened early last week, Yahoo! announced that they hired a new CEO. Pretty ordinary information right? Well, the only thing out of the ordinary is that the new CEO, Marissa Mayer, is pregnant. That in itself isn't that out of the ordinary either, but what is thought provoking is her ideas on her maternity leave, or lack there of. She reportedly said in a report published by MSNBC that "my maternity leave will be a few weeks long and I'll work throughout it".
My initial reaction to this story was to be snotty and judgmental. I chuckled to myself and thought "Yeah, right lady." It's her first child and she's just going to work through maternity leave; ok, that makes sense. Because maternity leave is really just a vacation, right? There isn't really any purpose to it besides to rest up after delivering a baby, right? There's no need to let your body recover from a major medical process right? There's no real need to bond with your baby over those government mandated 6 weeks, right? Naaa...maternity leave is optional and those who choose to work through it should be allowed to do so...and let the rest of us feel guilty for not following suit behind them, right?
WRONG.
As I thought about it more, I started to progress from snarky to angry. Why should this even be an option? Does this woman feel she has to work through her maternity leave so it doesn't look like she's taking a vacation at the beginning of a new position? Is it because she's probably working with mostly men, who rarely take paternity leave, and therefore feels she needs to act as their "equal" and treat the birth of her baby as nothing more significant than a week long get away? If that's her reasoning then, pardon my french, I think it's absolute crap. First of all, if you've just delivered a baby and are contemplating your maternity leave, it's pretty clear you are not a man. You are a woman, and that's ok. We are different genders and in order to be seen equally, I don't believe we have to be identical. We were created differently in this life because we are made to perform different tasks in this life. I believe maternity leave is a necessary part of the birthing process. It not only allows the Mother to heal from childbirth (C-Section or vaginal, both require major healing), it gives your child time to get situated in this new world they've never known before and it allows the mother to bond with her child which is oh so necessary! Considering that America was recently ranked #25 in Save The Children's annual "State Of The World's Mother's" list, stating that the US has the worst maternity leave policies amongst other wealthy nations, I don't see how Ms. Mayer's decision regarding her maternity leave will help matters at all. I remember the night before I went back to work after Mr. L was born and I was so angry. I was angry because while I was able to take a long 14 weeks of leave, I felt that it was still too early. My child was still exclusively breastfeeding at that time which meant his life depended 100% on me, and yet I had to leave him or risk losing my job. It seemed like such an injustice to me. And while I was sad to realize I would have to leave him each day from then on, more than anything I was just angry because I felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with this system. I can only imagine how other female employees at Yahoo must be taking this news that their new boss is only going to take minimal leave and is going to work through it. Does this mean they must do the same? Even though they won't be told they must, I wonder if they'll feel the pressure to do as the leader does? I'm assuming that Mayer will have lots of assistance to make this happen; night nurses to help with feedings so she can get ample sleep in order to conquer the business world the next day, as well as nannies or other caretakers during the day to help while she's running a corporation. But what about her employees who aren't as fortunate to have that kind of help? Will they still be expected to show up at work 3 weeks after giving birth? Nevermind the fact that their bodies may not be fully healed from the delivery, and that they most likely wont be able to function properly due to the minimal amount of sleep they'll be getting. Add to that the high possibility that their hormones may be more out of whack than polar bear in the desert, and they could be facing a major problem!
I, like the rest of us, including Ms. Mayer, have no idea how this will all turn out. I hate that my first reaction was to be negative and judgemental, but I'm just concerned about what this type of thinking could turn in to. Will other businesses take on this type of minimal leave attitude? While federal law requires a woman's job be held for 12 weeks after giving birth, there is a potential that pressure could be put on those women to re-enter the work force long before those 12 weeks are up as Ms. Mayer is choosing to do. On the other hand, this whole situation could be amazing for future working Moms. If Ms. Mayer does this right, it could open many doors for corporations all over the country to be more open minded about their post-partum employees. Ms. Mayer may choose to bring her child to work with her, which could set an amazing example to employers and employees all over. She may be able to be a spokeswoman for working moms by expressing the difficulties she's facing trying to "do it all". I hope with all that I have this situations turns out positively for all women of this country and that instead of falling farther and farther down the list of Best Places to be a Mom, we start rising to the top and are able to take a different approach to the Mother's in this country who choose to work and who have to work outside of the home.
Only time will tell.
My initial reaction to this story was to be snotty and judgmental. I chuckled to myself and thought "Yeah, right lady." It's her first child and she's just going to work through maternity leave; ok, that makes sense. Because maternity leave is really just a vacation, right? There isn't really any purpose to it besides to rest up after delivering a baby, right? There's no need to let your body recover from a major medical process right? There's no real need to bond with your baby over those government mandated 6 weeks, right? Naaa...maternity leave is optional and those who choose to work through it should be allowed to do so...and let the rest of us feel guilty for not following suit behind them, right?
WRONG.
As I thought about it more, I started to progress from snarky to angry. Why should this even be an option? Does this woman feel she has to work through her maternity leave so it doesn't look like she's taking a vacation at the beginning of a new position? Is it because she's probably working with mostly men, who rarely take paternity leave, and therefore feels she needs to act as their "equal" and treat the birth of her baby as nothing more significant than a week long get away? If that's her reasoning then, pardon my french, I think it's absolute crap. First of all, if you've just delivered a baby and are contemplating your maternity leave, it's pretty clear you are not a man. You are a woman, and that's ok. We are different genders and in order to be seen equally, I don't believe we have to be identical. We were created differently in this life because we are made to perform different tasks in this life. I believe maternity leave is a necessary part of the birthing process. It not only allows the Mother to heal from childbirth (C-Section or vaginal, both require major healing), it gives your child time to get situated in this new world they've never known before and it allows the mother to bond with her child which is oh so necessary! Considering that America was recently ranked #25 in Save The Children's annual "State Of The World's Mother's" list, stating that the US has the worst maternity leave policies amongst other wealthy nations, I don't see how Ms. Mayer's decision regarding her maternity leave will help matters at all. I remember the night before I went back to work after Mr. L was born and I was so angry. I was angry because while I was able to take a long 14 weeks of leave, I felt that it was still too early. My child was still exclusively breastfeeding at that time which meant his life depended 100% on me, and yet I had to leave him or risk losing my job. It seemed like such an injustice to me. And while I was sad to realize I would have to leave him each day from then on, more than anything I was just angry because I felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with this system. I can only imagine how other female employees at Yahoo must be taking this news that their new boss is only going to take minimal leave and is going to work through it. Does this mean they must do the same? Even though they won't be told they must, I wonder if they'll feel the pressure to do as the leader does? I'm assuming that Mayer will have lots of assistance to make this happen; night nurses to help with feedings so she can get ample sleep in order to conquer the business world the next day, as well as nannies or other caretakers during the day to help while she's running a corporation. But what about her employees who aren't as fortunate to have that kind of help? Will they still be expected to show up at work 3 weeks after giving birth? Nevermind the fact that their bodies may not be fully healed from the delivery, and that they most likely wont be able to function properly due to the minimal amount of sleep they'll be getting. Add to that the high possibility that their hormones may be more out of whack than polar bear in the desert, and they could be facing a major problem!
I, like the rest of us, including Ms. Mayer, have no idea how this will all turn out. I hate that my first reaction was to be negative and judgemental, but I'm just concerned about what this type of thinking could turn in to. Will other businesses take on this type of minimal leave attitude? While federal law requires a woman's job be held for 12 weeks after giving birth, there is a potential that pressure could be put on those women to re-enter the work force long before those 12 weeks are up as Ms. Mayer is choosing to do. On the other hand, this whole situation could be amazing for future working Moms. If Ms. Mayer does this right, it could open many doors for corporations all over the country to be more open minded about their post-partum employees. Ms. Mayer may choose to bring her child to work with her, which could set an amazing example to employers and employees all over. She may be able to be a spokeswoman for working moms by expressing the difficulties she's facing trying to "do it all". I hope with all that I have this situations turns out positively for all women of this country and that instead of falling farther and farther down the list of Best Places to be a Mom, we start rising to the top and are able to take a different approach to the Mother's in this country who choose to work and who have to work outside of the home.
Only time will tell.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Sleep Communication with Your Toddler
The inability to communicate with your child has got to be one of the most frustrating aspects of parenthood. My friends and I often joke that it can't possibly be harder to raise a teenager than it is a toddler because, even if your teen spewing attitude and rebellion your way, you can at least explain to them why you disapprove of certain behaviors; that is a concept which is completely foreign to all residents of Toddler Town.
While I can't always communicate with Mr. L about why I need him to eat his veggies or why I don't need him to run into the street as we walk to the park, we have been able to communicate about one thing; sleep! Now, don't get too excited, I haven't found the Holy Grail of toddler sleep habits and can have lengthy discussions about when my child would like to sleep and for how long (if that was true, I wouldn't be writing a blog each day, I'd be counting my piles and piles of money!). But I have found a way to decipher when Mr. L is ready for me to take him out of his crib after each restful period so that he gets the independence and sleep that he needs.
Mr. L and I communicate in two steps. The first requires him to stand up in his crib. I absolutely will not go into his room to get him if he's sitting down or laying down. That may seem weird or harsh from the outside, but it's all part of our communication. Mr. L knows that he needs to stand up if he wants me to know he's ready to go, so by him sitting and talking to himself or his stuffed animals it gives him some time on his own to hang out without being interrupted by me. The second step is that he must calmly call for myself or The Hubs to come get him. This one is a little tricky and doesn't always happen. But I TRY to hold out on getting him until he asks for "Mommy...Mommy...Mommy". If he's hysterically crying and I think he's in pain, of course I will rush in there to check, but if he sounds more whiny than frantic, I usually let him cry it out and nine times out of ten, he falls back asleep for another while. The main thing I focus on in this step is what he's saying. If he's clearly talking to Elmo then I let him be. It allows Mr. L some independence and downtime to himself. For the majority of the day, he's with me and we're doing something. There are certainly times when he wanders off on his own to play while I'm making a meal (or cleaning one up!) but it doesn't happen every day. By setting this communication standard, I'm putting the control in Mr. L's hands to tell me when he's ready to get up.
I know I've written this in a very matter-of-fact way as if I never question or waiver from this set up, but that's not the case. There are days when he cries in the morning and won't stop. I try to let him cry it out, but either from the pressure of a sideways glance from The Hubs or I just can't take it myself I'll go get him. Nap time is when I'll stick to our 2 step rule the most because it's easier to decipher if he's really ready to wake up or not. If he starts crying after 1 hour in to his standard 2 hour nap, I don't bat an eye and I'll let him cry because I know he needs at last 30 more minutes of shut eye.
As always, this is the method that works for us. It may not work for you, but if you're in need of a new wake-up routine, I hope you find some methods from this post that will work for you and your little one(s).
While I can't always communicate with Mr. L about why I need him to eat his veggies or why I don't need him to run into the street as we walk to the park, we have been able to communicate about one thing; sleep! Now, don't get too excited, I haven't found the Holy Grail of toddler sleep habits and can have lengthy discussions about when my child would like to sleep and for how long (if that was true, I wouldn't be writing a blog each day, I'd be counting my piles and piles of money!). But I have found a way to decipher when Mr. L is ready for me to take him out of his crib after each restful period so that he gets the independence and sleep that he needs.
Mr. L and I communicate in two steps. The first requires him to stand up in his crib. I absolutely will not go into his room to get him if he's sitting down or laying down. That may seem weird or harsh from the outside, but it's all part of our communication. Mr. L knows that he needs to stand up if he wants me to know he's ready to go, so by him sitting and talking to himself or his stuffed animals it gives him some time on his own to hang out without being interrupted by me. The second step is that he must calmly call for myself or The Hubs to come get him. This one is a little tricky and doesn't always happen. But I TRY to hold out on getting him until he asks for "Mommy...Mommy...Mommy". If he's hysterically crying and I think he's in pain, of course I will rush in there to check, but if he sounds more whiny than frantic, I usually let him cry it out and nine times out of ten, he falls back asleep for another while. The main thing I focus on in this step is what he's saying. If he's clearly talking to Elmo then I let him be. It allows Mr. L some independence and downtime to himself. For the majority of the day, he's with me and we're doing something. There are certainly times when he wanders off on his own to play while I'm making a meal (or cleaning one up!) but it doesn't happen every day. By setting this communication standard, I'm putting the control in Mr. L's hands to tell me when he's ready to get up.
I know I've written this in a very matter-of-fact way as if I never question or waiver from this set up, but that's not the case. There are days when he cries in the morning and won't stop. I try to let him cry it out, but either from the pressure of a sideways glance from The Hubs or I just can't take it myself I'll go get him. Nap time is when I'll stick to our 2 step rule the most because it's easier to decipher if he's really ready to wake up or not. If he starts crying after 1 hour in to his standard 2 hour nap, I don't bat an eye and I'll let him cry because I know he needs at last 30 more minutes of shut eye.
As always, this is the method that works for us. It may not work for you, but if you're in need of a new wake-up routine, I hope you find some methods from this post that will work for you and your little one(s).
Friday, July 13, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Family Vactions & Personal Expectations
The Hubs and I recently got back from a 22 day vacation in Canada which was great, and we enjoyed our time together as a family of 3. However, this was our first vacation since Mr. L when we weren't staying with a family member, which at times can be easier to do than to stay in a new place all on your own. While our vacation was great, that's not to say there weren't a few bumps here and there; we are human after all! Some of these bumps were minor, but others, as The Hubs and I just found out last night had been eating away at one or both of us since we'd returned from our get away. I'll explain what these bumps were in a minute, but the main thing we realized going through all of this is that while on vacation, we weren't meeting each others expectations. To be fair, neither of us had discussed what our expectations for this vacation were, so it makes sense that things were overlooked at times, feelings were hurt and sometimes fun was not had!
As The Hubs and I were delving into our discussion last night, I posed the question "How are you wanting our trip to Hawaii in a couple of months to go differently?" From there we both confessed what we wanted out of our week long stay in Maui, and very quickly it became obvious that we both had very different expectations, and ones that couldn't both be met simultaneously (unless Mr. L suddenly became a self-sufficient 2 year old). So what do we have to do to help ensure that our trip to Maui will end with less regret than our trip to Canada did? COMPROMISE! Oh that lovely word that is synonymous with marriage. It's not always fun, but I'd rather compromise now than be annoyed during a vacation because I'm not getting what I want! For our family, the compromise will begin with a schedule. The Hubs and I are going to sit down and plan out specific times throughout the week that we each get some time to indulge ourselves. I know this takes all of the spontaneity out of a vacation where you just want to relax and have fun, but if you are going on a vacation with young children there isn't much hope for spontaneity anyway. By figuring out who gets to sleep in when, who will be making dinner on what nights we're hoping to meet in the middle so we can both enjoy our trip to paradise.
I think one aspect of our trip to Canada that caused a hiccup is that this was our first family vacation with me in my new role as a stay at home mom. I hadn't really thought of how that would effect our time together but it certainly did. The Hubs had ideas that my job would continue while we were in Canada meaning that I would be the ruler of our vacation home and would be in charge of all of the domestic things while we were away just as I am when we're home. I, on the other hand, was looking forward to having my partner around 24/7 to HELP me with the domestic things. Do you see how our expectations may not have been met on our 22 days together? I think that both of our expectations seem fair; The Hubs was looking for a vacation where we would be able to relax and get away from his daily responsibilities. And I was in turn looking for something similar. I wasn't looking to get away from my daily doings entirely, but I was looking to be able to lean on my husband for some additional support in areas he isn't usually around to help with. And I don't mean for this to sound like The Hubs was turning our life into an episode of Mad Men, expecting me to do everything while he poured himself another cocktail and relaxed, that wasn't the case at all. The Hubs was ecstatic to get to spend more time with Mr. L - a privilege he doesn't get to experience during a normal work week. He also loved being able to make dinners a few nights which he doesn't normally do at home. By doing both of these things, I was getting break from my daily routine. However, discussing all of this the other night, made me ask the question "if I'm staying at home, and am expected to continue those duties when we're on vacation, when do I get a vacation from my job?" The Hubs didn't really have an answer for that. He understands that I need a break and I need time away just as anyone else does in this world, but we're aren't quite sure how to get both of us to where we want to be.He suggested that maybe something that could work for our family is that throughout the year, we each get 2 extended weekend vacations on our own. But to be honest, that kind of sounds horrible (and amazing at the same time). I don't want to know that for the rest of my life when we plan some extravagant vacation it will be a vacation for everyone in our family except for me. That's going to make me resent going on vacation (or make me redefine what a vacation is - solo trip to the grocery store will start sounding more and more blissful!). I know several of my friends have complained that when they go on vacations with their family it isn't a vacation for them because a Mother's job is never done. I understand that and am ok with that to some degree, but I don't want to feel like I'm being stepped on every time we head out for a holiday. I want to feel like an equal part of our family and get some R&R just like everyone else. That's where the idea of the schedule came in. It may not work for everyone, but for me, if I can have in my head a specific day when I know I get to sleep in, or a day when I get a massage - even if both of those things only happen once and on the same day, I will be golden for our entire vacation. I'm the type of person that works well when I have a goal in mind or a finish line in sight. If we arrive in Maui and it's raining, Mr. L isn't sleeping and I'm spending more time changing diapers than applying sunscreen, I'll probably be ok as long as I have that Lomilomi massage on the calendar.
I think The Hubs and I learned a big lesson while in Canada. Expectations are a big deal, and if you aren't communicating with your partner about what you want out a certain situation, chances are you are going to be disappointed. This doesn't just hold true for vacations, this is true for all life situations. I'm grateful to be in a marriage where communication and open discussions can be had regularly and with little tension involved.
It's not always easy to navigate your way through these bumps, but the more experience we get in these types of situations, the better they will get each time.
Here's to Hawaii! Aloha!
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| I think Mr. L's expectations for this bike ride were to actually be riding a bike |
I think one aspect of our trip to Canada that caused a hiccup is that this was our first family vacation with me in my new role as a stay at home mom. I hadn't really thought of how that would effect our time together but it certainly did. The Hubs had ideas that my job would continue while we were in Canada meaning that I would be the ruler of our vacation home and would be in charge of all of the domestic things while we were away just as I am when we're home. I, on the other hand, was looking forward to having my partner around 24/7 to HELP me with the domestic things. Do you see how our expectations may not have been met on our 22 days together? I think that both of our expectations seem fair; The Hubs was looking for a vacation where we would be able to relax and get away from his daily responsibilities. And I was in turn looking for something similar. I wasn't looking to get away from my daily doings entirely, but I was looking to be able to lean on my husband for some additional support in areas he isn't usually around to help with. And I don't mean for this to sound like The Hubs was turning our life into an episode of Mad Men, expecting me to do everything while he poured himself another cocktail and relaxed, that wasn't the case at all. The Hubs was ecstatic to get to spend more time with Mr. L - a privilege he doesn't get to experience during a normal work week. He also loved being able to make dinners a few nights which he doesn't normally do at home. By doing both of these things, I was getting break from my daily routine. However, discussing all of this the other night, made me ask the question "if I'm staying at home, and am expected to continue those duties when we're on vacation, when do I get a vacation from my job?" The Hubs didn't really have an answer for that. He understands that I need a break and I need time away just as anyone else does in this world, but we're aren't quite sure how to get both of us to where we want to be.He suggested that maybe something that could work for our family is that throughout the year, we each get 2 extended weekend vacations on our own. But to be honest, that kind of sounds horrible (and amazing at the same time). I don't want to know that for the rest of my life when we plan some extravagant vacation it will be a vacation for everyone in our family except for me. That's going to make me resent going on vacation (or make me redefine what a vacation is - solo trip to the grocery store will start sounding more and more blissful!). I know several of my friends have complained that when they go on vacations with their family it isn't a vacation for them because a Mother's job is never done. I understand that and am ok with that to some degree, but I don't want to feel like I'm being stepped on every time we head out for a holiday. I want to feel like an equal part of our family and get some R&R just like everyone else. That's where the idea of the schedule came in. It may not work for everyone, but for me, if I can have in my head a specific day when I know I get to sleep in, or a day when I get a massage - even if both of those things only happen once and on the same day, I will be golden for our entire vacation. I'm the type of person that works well when I have a goal in mind or a finish line in sight. If we arrive in Maui and it's raining, Mr. L isn't sleeping and I'm spending more time changing diapers than applying sunscreen, I'll probably be ok as long as I have that Lomilomi massage on the calendar.
 |
| Hoping our next trip to Maui is as blissful and relaxing as our honeymoon! |
It's not always easy to navigate your way through these bumps, but the more experience we get in these types of situations, the better they will get each time.
Here's to Hawaii! Aloha!
Friday, July 6, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
What I Hope To Get Out of BlogHer '12
Exactly 1 month from today, BlogHer '12 will commence! Part of me cannot wait, and part of me is a wee bit nervous (read a lot of bit nervous). But as each day gets closer and I reach out to more and more bloggers that will be attending (One of which is my very good friend, Annie from High School who I only get to see sporadically when she visits California!), and I learn more about each scheduled lecture I can't help but be giddy that I get to be a part of this! I'm learning more and more that BlogHer is kind of a big deal!
While I don't want to walk into this 2 day conference with an agenda so tight that I look back and realize all I did was take notes, I do have some hopes that a few things will be accomplished.
1. I Want To Be Inspired. There are many many many days when I open up my laptop ready to change the world with my blog, only to get distracted or frustrated with my current thought or lack thereof and instead end up writing nothing. There are many times when I feel my blog has no clear direction. I love that my tagline shouts that I will give you advice, but then I fear that I come off pretentious and that I think I'm an expert mother, which I so absolutely am not. There are times when I just want my blog to be like a diary entry - I just want to write freely about everything that goes on in my life, but with that comes readers who are actually in my life and may be the center of the topic of which I am writing or venting about, which is something I'd prefer to avoid. I'm hoping that by attending BlogHer '12 I'll be able to define my path in this blog world and can make something of this blog that can provide something to others; even if the only "other" is me.
2. I Want To Make Connections. In other blogs I read, I see people talking about all of the friends they have in the blog world and I just don't have that...yet. As far as I know, the main people who read my blog and comment on my blog are people that are friends with me in real life. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate any sets of eyes that should happen upon this blog, but at the same time I think it would be kind of cool to "meet" some people out there who read my blog because they genuinely like it and didn't stop here because I'm on their list of "Friends With Blogs". This isn't about getting more traffic to my site (Though that would be nice!), it's about finding other people who are doing what I'm doing and feeding off of that common connection.
3. I Want To Feel Empowered. My life has changed drastically in the past 10 years. When I was 20 I packed up everything that I knew of the world into one Uhaul and moved myself to Colorado. I didn't know anyone, I didn't have a job, but I had a goal. And that goal was all this independent and feisty young girl needed to make a change in her life. I'm now a Stay At Home Mom raising one child who is married to a fabulous husband. But sometimes I worry that being in this role has taken my independence. There was a time when I was the master of my checking account and I would panic if I had balance of less than $2,000...in my CHECKING account...as a 20 year old. My purse strings have loosened since becoming a partner in a relationship where the major expenses are paid out of the pocket by my man. When I first began planning my trip to NYC for BlogHer '12, I became really frightened. Frightened about things that shouldn't frighten this girl who worked on construction sites with 15 other men, who stood up to people who questioned my role in life, and to reiterate, who moved to a new city and state at age 20 because I had set a goal to do so. I don't like that simple things frighten me now, and I want to conquer this weekend in August to prove to myself that the brave girl that I used to be isn't totally gone.
4. I Want To Have Fun. I'm not going to lie, being away from The Hubs and Mr. L for 5 days is going to feel a bit like a vacation (A well deserved one if you ask me). I'm flying out to NYC early on Tuesday morning and i don't return to the bay area until Sunday evening. My plan is to stay with my brother until Thursday then check in to a hotel for 2 nights and then spend my last night with my brother and his girlfriend. I plan to shop a lot, drink a little and sleep in...EVERY DAY. I plan on dressing cute, socializing and partying with my fellow attendees! And I also plan on getting a picture with these two ladies who are our keynote speakers!
In case you've been living under a rock for the past 30 years, these two women are Katie Couric (Top) former co-host of The Today Show and CBS Evening News and soon to be host of her own daytime talk show, Katie! I cannot wait to hear what she has to tell us about being a business woman, keeping your head straight in a media circus and just other advice about life! Also pictured is the original hostess with the mostess, Martha Stewart! I have loved Martha since I first learned of her existence. I hope that when she's speaking I'll be able to actually pay attention and won't just be starstruck the whole time, but I make no promises!!
Over the next month I plan to figure out my lecture schedule, pack and repack 100 times and hopefully connect more with the few BlogHer '12 that I've connected with already!
While I don't want to walk into this 2 day conference with an agenda so tight that I look back and realize all I did was take notes, I do have some hopes that a few things will be accomplished.
1. I Want To Be Inspired. There are many many many days when I open up my laptop ready to change the world with my blog, only to get distracted or frustrated with my current thought or lack thereof and instead end up writing nothing. There are many times when I feel my blog has no clear direction. I love that my tagline shouts that I will give you advice, but then I fear that I come off pretentious and that I think I'm an expert mother, which I so absolutely am not. There are times when I just want my blog to be like a diary entry - I just want to write freely about everything that goes on in my life, but with that comes readers who are actually in my life and may be the center of the topic of which I am writing or venting about, which is something I'd prefer to avoid. I'm hoping that by attending BlogHer '12 I'll be able to define my path in this blog world and can make something of this blog that can provide something to others; even if the only "other" is me.
2. I Want To Make Connections. In other blogs I read, I see people talking about all of the friends they have in the blog world and I just don't have that...yet. As far as I know, the main people who read my blog and comment on my blog are people that are friends with me in real life. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate any sets of eyes that should happen upon this blog, but at the same time I think it would be kind of cool to "meet" some people out there who read my blog because they genuinely like it and didn't stop here because I'm on their list of "Friends With Blogs". This isn't about getting more traffic to my site (Though that would be nice!), it's about finding other people who are doing what I'm doing and feeding off of that common connection.
3. I Want To Feel Empowered. My life has changed drastically in the past 10 years. When I was 20 I packed up everything that I knew of the world into one Uhaul and moved myself to Colorado. I didn't know anyone, I didn't have a job, but I had a goal. And that goal was all this independent and feisty young girl needed to make a change in her life. I'm now a Stay At Home Mom raising one child who is married to a fabulous husband. But sometimes I worry that being in this role has taken my independence. There was a time when I was the master of my checking account and I would panic if I had balance of less than $2,000...in my CHECKING account...as a 20 year old. My purse strings have loosened since becoming a partner in a relationship where the major expenses are paid out of the pocket by my man. When I first began planning my trip to NYC for BlogHer '12, I became really frightened. Frightened about things that shouldn't frighten this girl who worked on construction sites with 15 other men, who stood up to people who questioned my role in life, and to reiterate, who moved to a new city and state at age 20 because I had set a goal to do so. I don't like that simple things frighten me now, and I want to conquer this weekend in August to prove to myself that the brave girl that I used to be isn't totally gone.
4. I Want To Have Fun. I'm not going to lie, being away from The Hubs and Mr. L for 5 days is going to feel a bit like a vacation (A well deserved one if you ask me). I'm flying out to NYC early on Tuesday morning and i don't return to the bay area until Sunday evening. My plan is to stay with my brother until Thursday then check in to a hotel for 2 nights and then spend my last night with my brother and his girlfriend. I plan to shop a lot, drink a little and sleep in...EVERY DAY. I plan on dressing cute, socializing and partying with my fellow attendees! And I also plan on getting a picture with these two ladies who are our keynote speakers!
Over the next month I plan to figure out my lecture schedule, pack and repack 100 times and hopefully connect more with the few BlogHer '12 that I've connected with already!
Monday, July 2, 2012
Hello Rock, Meet Hard Place...
As you may know, a few months ago I accepted a part time job as an assistant wedding coordinator at the same wedding venue where The Hubs and I said "I do" 3 years ago. The job, in itself is my absolute dream job, but what makes it even more perfect is the schedule. It's a 2 day a week, 16 hour job. There isn't a lot of pressure, and not a lot of time away from home. I absolutely love having this little pocket of ME in my life that no one can disturb and I can feel like an adult and a woman two times a week - and it also gets me motivated enough each morning to shower - which is not a luxury that stay at home parenting provides on most days!
When I interviewed for this position my boss informed me that she was pregnant and that she would be taking about 4 months of maternity leave starting in the fall. I was asked if I would be able to take over full time during that period. I think I nodded "yes" to that question so fast and so hard my head almost fell off my neck! I'm not sure if it was the pleaser in me just wanting to say YES in a pressured moment, or if it was the desperate SAHM in me who was dying to get out of the house and speak with people that didn't live on Sesame Street. But, whatever the reason I unofficially accepted this midway promotion and didn't give it another thought.
Well, as of yesterday, I've had to give it another thought. I received an email last night from my boss letting me know that the issue of me starting full time in September has started to come up with our general manager and that he wants to talk to me about this and confirm that it's happening very soon. It's funny, because ever since I started this job in April, I was fully aware that there would be a time when I would be working full time for a short period of time, and I fully expected to be absolutely Ok with this next step with the job. What i wasn't expecting was to read that email and have my heart break a little. I wasn't expecting for tears to well up in my eyes when the words "Full Time" flashed before me. What I wasn't expecting was to have this overwhelming feeling of NOT WANTING TO DO THIS enter my heart and brain.
What happened? Who have I become? I've done the whole working Mom thing! I've already been down this road! Why is this a problem? I did it for over a year! This should be fine! I love my job and I love the people I work with (Which I couldn't always say about my construction job)! Why am I feeling such torment about this?
Because while the wedding planning is an amazing job, being a stay at home Mom with my child is my absolute DREAM job. Yes, it's the most exhausting job I've ever had, but it's also the most rewarding. I love that I get to teach my child different things each day. I love that I get to spend endless days with him. I love that I know the ins and outs of everything he's doing and each stage he's at. I love that the main responsibility of his behavior and attitude is on me. I love that we have the freedom to have an unusual schedule each week. I love that I get to do my grocery shopping on Wednesday mornings at 10am when no one else is there. I love that I have 5 days to get everything around the house done and organized so that when The Hubs is home on the weekend he can spend his days enjoying our family (That's always the plan at least).
I also remember the year I had as a working Mom and how horrible it was. Yes, there were moments of satisfaction when things ran smoothly, but what I remember most is that everything seemed rushed and chaotic. I never had enough time to get anything done as well as I wanted it to be done. I felt like a crappy Mom and a crappy employee 100% of the time. I was horrible at finding a balance between these two worlds and because of that, my family suffered. I'm not ok with ever letting that happen again, but I fear that this time around won't be any different. I'm terrified that it will be exactly the same.
On the other hand, I tell myself to calm down, that I'm being dramatic. That this situation won't be anything like last time because I actually enjoy my job this time around. I also work with other women who are moms and parent as I do. I also remind myself that this is temporary; it's 3 or 4 months at the most! But no matter what way I spin it, I can't shake this feeling of dread.
The plan as of now is to sit down with my direct boss one on one this week and get some questions answered about what the job would include (Hours, days, pay etc). From there, I'll talk with The Hubs to see if it even makes sense for us at this time (The Hubs brought up a good point last night, "Would you want to do it if the pay breaks even with childcare costs?"). From there, I'll speak with the general manager about what we've decided. The loyal and responsible part of me wants to follow through with my initial promise of taking on the full time work because if I turn this down now, I'm leaving my coworkers in a huge lurch! If I turn this down, they'll have to find and train someone between now and September to take over for my boss once she's gone. And I'm fairly certain if they had to go that route, then my perfect and fantastic part time position would suddenly be unavailable.
I'm so torn between what I was determined to do and what I'm wanting to do now. I'm not someone who goes back on my word, but I'm also not someone who goes back on what I truly feel is the right thing to do. My stomach has been in knots since I read that email, and I have no idea how this situation is going to turn out.
If someone had told me 5 years ago that i would be loving my life as a SAHM so much that I would be considering turning down a job as a full time wedding planner, I probably would have punched them in the face with disbelief! It just goes to show, you never know where life will take you!
When I interviewed for this position my boss informed me that she was pregnant and that she would be taking about 4 months of maternity leave starting in the fall. I was asked if I would be able to take over full time during that period. I think I nodded "yes" to that question so fast and so hard my head almost fell off my neck! I'm not sure if it was the pleaser in me just wanting to say YES in a pressured moment, or if it was the desperate SAHM in me who was dying to get out of the house and speak with people that didn't live on Sesame Street. But, whatever the reason I unofficially accepted this midway promotion and didn't give it another thought.
Well, as of yesterday, I've had to give it another thought. I received an email last night from my boss letting me know that the issue of me starting full time in September has started to come up with our general manager and that he wants to talk to me about this and confirm that it's happening very soon. It's funny, because ever since I started this job in April, I was fully aware that there would be a time when I would be working full time for a short period of time, and I fully expected to be absolutely Ok with this next step with the job. What i wasn't expecting was to read that email and have my heart break a little. I wasn't expecting for tears to well up in my eyes when the words "Full Time" flashed before me. What I wasn't expecting was to have this overwhelming feeling of NOT WANTING TO DO THIS enter my heart and brain.
What happened? Who have I become? I've done the whole working Mom thing! I've already been down this road! Why is this a problem? I did it for over a year! This should be fine! I love my job and I love the people I work with (Which I couldn't always say about my construction job)! Why am I feeling such torment about this?
Because while the wedding planning is an amazing job, being a stay at home Mom with my child is my absolute DREAM job. Yes, it's the most exhausting job I've ever had, but it's also the most rewarding. I love that I get to teach my child different things each day. I love that I get to spend endless days with him. I love that I know the ins and outs of everything he's doing and each stage he's at. I love that the main responsibility of his behavior and attitude is on me. I love that we have the freedom to have an unusual schedule each week. I love that I get to do my grocery shopping on Wednesday mornings at 10am when no one else is there. I love that I have 5 days to get everything around the house done and organized so that when The Hubs is home on the weekend he can spend his days enjoying our family (That's always the plan at least).
I also remember the year I had as a working Mom and how horrible it was. Yes, there were moments of satisfaction when things ran smoothly, but what I remember most is that everything seemed rushed and chaotic. I never had enough time to get anything done as well as I wanted it to be done. I felt like a crappy Mom and a crappy employee 100% of the time. I was horrible at finding a balance between these two worlds and because of that, my family suffered. I'm not ok with ever letting that happen again, but I fear that this time around won't be any different. I'm terrified that it will be exactly the same.
On the other hand, I tell myself to calm down, that I'm being dramatic. That this situation won't be anything like last time because I actually enjoy my job this time around. I also work with other women who are moms and parent as I do. I also remind myself that this is temporary; it's 3 or 4 months at the most! But no matter what way I spin it, I can't shake this feeling of dread.
The plan as of now is to sit down with my direct boss one on one this week and get some questions answered about what the job would include (Hours, days, pay etc). From there, I'll talk with The Hubs to see if it even makes sense for us at this time (The Hubs brought up a good point last night, "Would you want to do it if the pay breaks even with childcare costs?"). From there, I'll speak with the general manager about what we've decided. The loyal and responsible part of me wants to follow through with my initial promise of taking on the full time work because if I turn this down now, I'm leaving my coworkers in a huge lurch! If I turn this down, they'll have to find and train someone between now and September to take over for my boss once she's gone. And I'm fairly certain if they had to go that route, then my perfect and fantastic part time position would suddenly be unavailable.
I'm so torn between what I was determined to do and what I'm wanting to do now. I'm not someone who goes back on my word, but I'm also not someone who goes back on what I truly feel is the right thing to do. My stomach has been in knots since I read that email, and I have no idea how this situation is going to turn out.
If someone had told me 5 years ago that i would be loving my life as a SAHM so much that I would be considering turning down a job as a full time wedding planner, I probably would have punched them in the face with disbelief! It just goes to show, you never know where life will take you!
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