|pure love before his world was rocked|
|Clearly he's over the attention he's NOT getting in the background|
I know that the reason for this sudden change in Mr. L's attitude is due entirely to 1 part his age and 1 part the less time and attention I've been able to give him since Little Miss N's arrival. To go from hearing "sure baby, we can play, we can do whatever you want whenever you want to do it for however long you want to do it" every day to "Sorry baby, Mommy can't play right now, Mommy needs to feed/change/burp the baby and Mommy is really tired so if you could play by yourself that would be helpful" doesn't really sit well with a 2 year old. And if you are in a similar situation right now, rest assured I'm rarely that calm and polite when telling my son I can't play right now. Mainly because it's probably the 800-millionth time he's asked me to play in about 30 seconds flat, I've probably gotten very little sleep (Despite the fact that Little Miss N is a phenomenal sleeper, waking up against your will for 2-3 hours in the middle of a deep slumber does not make anyone chipper the next day), and have been nothing but needed by some creature since the moment my eyes popped open that morning. These early days are frustrating for everyone, there is a lot of adjustment that goes on and I was beginning to think that I'd lost my little buddy forever and that I'd never get to enjoy my little love bug again. That's what I was thinking and feeling until this week. This week something miraculous happened. Granted, it's only Wednesday but I'm starting to see a difference in Mr. L; I'm starting to see my boy come back to me....what happened in our lives to make this change?
We all got sick.
That's right. It started with Mr. L coming down with a random runny nose in the dead of spring. We were cancelling play dates, putting plans on hold and waiting for this thing to dry up and move out of our house without infecting anyone else. But then I woke up 2 days later with a sore throat. I chalked it up to lack of sleep and figured it would go away if I went to bed early that night. Well, that turned out to be the one night Little Miss N had the worst nights sleep in all of her existence and I got two hours of sleep. That was all those little sick bugs needed to attack my immune system and take over. I woke up on Monday with a sore throat, a clogged head and two rug rats to look after. Awesome. We did absolutely nothing all day. We watched TV, we slept and we cuddled...a lot. I kept Miss N at a safe distance and chased Mr L with hand sanitizer every chance I got because as we all know, the only thing worse than a sick toddler is a sick baby (Except for maybe a sick husband). I stuck by my little guys side from the moment he woke up until the moment he went to bed. I did the same thing on Tuesday too, but yesterday morning despite my best efforts, Little Miss N woke up with the early signs of our cold so I had to put some distance between myself and Mr. L yesterday as I tended to and cuddled my baby who was experiencing her first cold! And you know what? Mr. L was fine. He was sweet. He even played by himself without me asking him to. I cleaned up and made dinner and he quietly played in our living room with his action figures. I was astonished. I've been begging him to do that for weeks so I wouldn't feel so guilty about telling him I couldn't play. He refused every time I suggested it and another battle between Mama and First-Born began. But today, he seemed to get it. He had this restored energy that I haven't seen in quite some time. It was almost as if our 2 days of living in slow-motion together told him I hadn't gone anywhere. That I was still his Mama-Bear who could cuddle and play and talk to him like I used to before the baby arrived. And by him seeing that, it showed me that he hadn't really gone anywhere either. My little guy was still in there somewhere. Behind the screams, behind the furled brow, behind the stomping foot and the sass-mouth was my lovable, playful, sweet-as-can be baby boy. I hope with all that I am that this is a new beginning for both of us. Now that I'm starting to get more sleep, and get better adjusted to this life with two children, and he's starting to get used to his baby sister being apart of our lives we can move forward in the direction we were heading before everything got turned upside down.
Thought it's been hard to be sick with two little ones to care for, today I am grateful for this bug that hit us unexpectedly because it's allowing us to celebrate the slow motion we've lived in this week and I hope that we can wake up tomorrow and press play on the lives we were living before the growing pains began.
Photos courtesy of Lissymack Photography